Day 4 – early start

Wake up naturally a minute before my alarm goes off at 6.30am. I have an early morning press preview in the West End before work, so I’m anxious to get the day started. Do usual morning pages, tea, fag, ablutions thing and hit the road at about 8. Get to my preview around 8.40. I’d aimed there for 8.30. No matter.

The preview goes well, there’s plenty to see and the very enthusiatsic PR person walks me through the entire collection, while also telling me about exciting developments which I sadly cannot share on the blog yet. Also¬† talk to the brand proprietor who is also a keen cyclist, so lots to talk about. I had allotted 30 minutes for the preview but I only managed to escape and hour later.

Cycle like the furies to work. Am late. Again. Shit. Still no reprisals from the boss. I feel all sorts of guilty but launch into my tasks for the day. Not really much to do, so it’s mostly a faff of a day. As we reach the end of the year, things are clearly slowing down and although I still have projects to manage it’s treacle slow getting anything done.

Lunchtime is the bacon bagel and I sit in again and look through my goodie bag from the preview and flip through the lookbook. I ran out of tea this morning and there in my goodie bag is a lovely pack of ten organic morning tea bags. Perfect. I take this as a sign of cosmic provision. It’s all good and there will be tea tomorrow.

The rest of the day goes by quickly. I’m still phone-less so I’m relying on emails from friends and making plans the old fashioned way – designated meeting place, designated time – to get me through. I send a few last minute emails to Naomi who I am meeting later at a reading at the Whitechapel gallery. And another friend who I am meeting tomorrow for a trip to the observertory to see the stars.

I leave my desk a little after five and manage to do my daily discipline till a little after six. Then it’s back on my bike and on my way to Whitechapel. I’d almost cancelled this trip as I was knackered and I though the ride to East London and then back to the house would be a mare. But I tend to challenge these notions of what I don’t feel like doing, so I decide to at least make an effort. As it turns out the bike ride is the best thing about the night. The readings do not go well. The audience is dry and uncommunicative and this makes the poets jittery. These are good poets but there is just no connection. One poet doesn’t even bother to intro her peices but burns through her short and evocative poems at the rate of knotts, barely stopping for breath, let alone applause. I find it hard to care and am finding it hard to stay awake.
I leave during the interval.

I decide that if you are going to do a reading you have to at least attempt to carry your audience with you otherwise don’t bother. This is a lesson. I need to practice performance more. With that in mind I decide that I will do some open mics in the near future to try out new work and practice my technique. I’ve also decided that it is well worth the extra effort to memorise a few pieces. There is something about the removal of all extraeneous matter from a performance that makes you inhabit a poem more and give a better performance. I will have to try out this theory. We’ll see.

I get home around 10, fully intending to write my log for the day but I’m hungry and there’s no food in the fridge. I settle on tea and five oreos. These do not fill me up but the hunger pangs subside and it’s too late for a full on cooking session.

Get to my room, switch on my computer and settle down to watch a programme. Remember to check out a a short animated documentary that I found while web surfing at work earlier in the day. It’s called Ryan and is a beautifully conceived piece about creativity, genius, negativity and how they can all impinge on each other. Watch it. It’s gorgeous.

It’s past 12 when I finally finish my web sesh. I make a show of meditating, lying down on my back. I probably only get 5 minutes of real focus then it’s gone. I’m too tired and have another early start in the morning. So I give up and just let myself fall asleep.