Day 5 — Samera

I went to Birmingham today to see a not so well relative. I went with my Mum, my sister and her two kids. And of course my laptop. I was deemed antisocial, which I wasn’t bothered by at all as the only reason they could state this to me personally was because I was on a train, with them, to Birmingham, to see a relative. They also claimed I was stressing them out with my work — a concept I don’t fully understand considering they are not doing any of it. I wasn’t particularly stressed about my work today, I was too busy doing it.

They can’t quite get their heads around my fluid deadline-driven working practices. To them elements of the day fit into clearly defined boxes. Being on the train to visit a relative was not a work box, so we should be talking about frivolous things. I don’t deal in boxes I deal in time. I forage for time. I deal in yield; time and effort. I don’t think they’ll ever understand this, and I’m probably going to lay explanation to rest at some point.

Talking of rest, care homes are very tranquil places. Every aspect is geared towards convalescence. The colours, layout, acoustics, decor, the works. Within five minutes of sitting, I was fighting to keep my eyes open. I do a lot of work in my bed at home so that place is no longer synonymous with sleep. It’s just another multi-purpose space. Not like the chair; that chair was so comfortable… it was like a hug. You know those bear hugs that slowly cut off your circulation, that’s what this was like: it was muffling my thoughts, like a dimmer switch lowering the light cast over a messy bedroom. Yes my mind is like a messy bedroom.

So, long story short, I got to thinking, I’ve never been on a retreat before (actually the first thought that popped into my head was that I might benefit from rehab, but that’s just because I’m melodramatic and I watch to much E!). I think I’m going to research these and see if I can add a trip to a retreat to quarter 2 or 3 next year. I’ve added an item on the topic to my Things, so the prospect is officially official.

While I was on a ‘chill-out, Sam’ trip, I thought I’d go to bed tonight without squeezing in some work. It feels like quite a treat.